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) q* T( |: k; s; Ymso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。0 _" k& K- z9 f, k5 Umso-font-kerning:0pt">
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1 [1 x- P! Z: k# F* pmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第* a7 Q6 A6 e' O; p, ^4 O
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：8 J6 R& }! q* }. b# M% ymso-font-kerning:0pt">“8 X- _) d! n* \- ^7 I4 j8 h( y& X
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：0 @; `! y; Y: |9 ]" y- zmso-font-kerning:0pt">“( X l7 Z6 i( bmso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
# g7 F* W" a8 |) u$ \* Q( u; Nmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。! K. D; h/ U2 n1 J& ?+ U- G- Xcolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”4 B4 C- }+ x1 Y9 `. g+ _Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;2 H5 o4 B$ U. d0 a
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$ R9 h( o! }: P) s. J" ?mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。1 |. l) s4 r; X8 b; j2 V: {. s
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。" T9 ^4 u* j+ w6 k# g6 G! Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">
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) R n: U# E+ C8 e* {5 rmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：4 I+ w' b8 r* @. [; q10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“, H) Z2 v* W2 T6 x D' Umso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;
# u0 z4 }9 ^2 n2 _3 |4 @' y( Z5 fmso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。 F% @* |) R" ~) q5 A
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/ K$ O6 n8 a$ c, Xmso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：, ?- J) ~8 w) @: H' Q8 a3 a0pt">"+ h# D& A$ f7 N W$ k: n. Rmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:
1 W! G- F- G2 `+ s" u/ u9 uTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。/ t7 C8 d8 M9 xmso-font-kerning:0pt">"1 Y- L/ k, N0 a% mfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;, D6 q8 {$ p8 r3 v: K+ u& q X* C( o
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟说：# I8 J" e4 n. `6 U
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢( b* l1 d, N5 Z% a3 y+ \" U
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：5 s0 D5 y; X( J1 Y
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。3 [; W5 P" G# D) l Rmso-font-kerning:0pt">"
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4 H( H/ {% y; l" ^( `" Vmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是5 x* C& n, D @6 l4 q10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“& Z. k7 j, ^5 R7 N% f6 H1 }2 yfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;1 g( q1 B$ U. [2 |" k# L. s
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违9 e/ W! U9 d% ]5 G& N; `( O10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”, `& x3 M2 ^5 X9 L+ [1 Dfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;" [0 X7 H6 k/ r/ u# t$ ^# i
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得7 Z- J5 A2 s' w8 G; l" s/ y
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲+ n' a+ h3 T- Z9 e( h. L
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8 ?( \! S' P( b+ H O' _mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，% A1 E& Q) ]4 A. X) ymso-font-kerning:0pt">“7 v" I! i* m+ i" o) M+ c& r: L% b% [
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7 @' ?) |0 w+ j+ e `. d* Vmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。/ w4 {+ r) e6 M( L8 n
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。' `6 V l/ {. m1 } J0 ?' ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。* U7 l1 w, ]0 C1 V) Q5 s1 d0 @
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4 E; r X; R" S* F2 v( uTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义$ D9 M5 @8 l* @+ Pmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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/ z- o6 F2 [/ ZTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！ x$ Q P0 h8 H+ C* kmso-font-kerning:0pt">——0 ]$ R: H* b! O
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5 }% _6 }' W" d9 R/ k7 nmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。. h8 B M7 V, v" ], H% Z/ q
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾老，昨天晚生正好读到战国时期儒家关于礼、丧、祭的论述7 W \: d6 b0 ?' Mmso-font-kerning:0pt">2; X1 S5 h' G/ W8 s) Dfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
+ ?0 ~6 e* g$ d; m. r' ?1 D# Nmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊) Y! b+ M, x4 V0 L z
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。* q/ y( z4 n; U- |mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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孝经
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。6 U" J% F2 R! x4 C' S* y
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。 C5 ?7 b* X3 X" d" d3 y. rmso-font-kerning:0pt">——0 n+ l2 E# e; H" @5 J9 l+ F
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; U3 i, T8 h; k& I9 E* G1 s9 D: Kmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：9 m; P7 P4 w( T$ @: `( w8 vmso-font-kerning:0pt">“ ^7 a- I, J; Y; O, lfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;+ h% t% _+ J: e" p4 P0 Q
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。. f; B/ K4 U9 Umso-font-kerning:0pt">”) @/ |2 n2 F$ s
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7 v# j& I1 k1 d( f0 {4 T( Ymso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个0 m8 f' M7 d7 U$ A/ n0 g- qmso-font-kerning:0pt">“0 I! n) s% f3 i( V! }! k. Zfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;3 O2 I7 z E1 G
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为( l5 x5 i$ S& d9 m: I3 Wmso-font-kerning:0pt">“: T. i! j+ b& s% h0 ufont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
5 @' [$ V3 P1 k1 kmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道2 K$ d; a& n7 D0 @* Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">”5 ~) d, N. s7 U( ufont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;6 ?* M% r1 T) y) W* u* O/ ^" X& p- j
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。2 B& _9 l0 h9 |4 j9 Y
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( T- ^$ _ ?, @" i1 CTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的 W. x% d) F T! b8 ]
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思 }7 ? J$ m; x2 S5 i9 ~+ Mmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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